Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Borzoi

Popular due to its beauty and temperament, the Borzoi fits into a variety of different households. Quiet and calm, the Borzoi is reserved with strangers.

10 Best Bowls For Bernedoodles

Finding the right bowl for your dog can be challenging because they vary so much in size, so we''ve compiled a list of the 10 best bowls for Bernedoodles.

Lapponian Herder

The Lapponian Herder is one of Finland''s five national dog breeds.This pooch is a talented herder and generally a smart dog that responds well to training

Papshund

Papshund is a rare designer dog breed, created by crossing two dogs known for their unusual looks and good temperaments- the Dachshund and the Papillon.

Ori-Pei

The Ori-Pei is a laid-back pooch who can be quite the trickster with their favorite humans. Also known as the Pugpei, Sharpug or Pug-a-Pei.

Winners Of Our True Love Valentine’s Day Contest

We love our readers! You guys really came through for our True Love Valentine’s Day Contest. Based on votes, here are our winners: Grand Prize: Hawke…

Therapy Dogs May Be The Key To Less Stress And Loneliness At Colleges

Feeling stressed or depressed? Spending time with a furry friend may be just the thing you need. We all know it to be intuitively true: when we spend time wi…

Gen Y Dogma: How to (Semi) Successfully Get Your Cat And Dog To Like E

When Christina Peden brought Matilda home, she was introduced to her reluctant cat brother, Oscar. And like any set of siblings, they didn’t see eye-to…

Unexpected Things That Helped Me Cope With Loss of My 17-Year-Old Cat

The grief of losing a pet can feel overwhelming at first, but little by little, gratitude for the time we shared starts filling the painful void they’ve left behind.

Golden Mountain Dog

The Golden Mountain Dog is a cross between a purebred Golden Retriever and Bernese Mountain Dog. A loving, affectionate breed.

Mongolian Horse

The native equine breed of Mongolia and one of the indigenous equine breeds of China, the Mongolian horse is considered one of the oldest breeds of horses.

Bloodhound

The Bloodhound has a personality that is among the best in the world of dogs and makes for a loyal house pet, a friendly companion, and a great friend.

8 Amazing Companies You Never Knew Helped Animals

Forget lending a helping hand - there are some companies that you''d never think of that lend a helping paw to animals in need.

This Dyson Cordless Vacuum Will Put an End to Pet Hair Woes

This Dyson cordless vacuum just went on sale for 49% off. Designed specifically for pet owners, it''s just what you need to kiss pet hair goodbye.

Grounds & Hounds Coffee Co. Offers Plenty of Perks

There are two things we can''t live without here at PetGuide - coffee and dogs. That''s why we need to order an endless supply of Grounds & Hounds coffee!