Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Costumed Kitties Pay Homage to Taylor Swift and Sparks Fly!

Meet Fan Girl Jessica, who dresses her cat up to match Taylor Swift in honor of her new album, ""Reputation,"" being released in November!

5 Ways to Keep Your Cat Cool This Summer

Your cat feels the summer heat and needs relief from rising temperatures. Ensure your kitty doesn''t overheat with these tips to keep her cool this summer.

Boo! Baby Beef Dog Treat Recipe

I love Halloween! The costumes, the candy, the haunted houses, the candy, the Halloween parties, the candy. I don’t know about you, but I dress Oscar u…

Pomeranian

The Pomeranian is a wonderful addition to the family, thanks to its docile temperament, intelligence and devotion. Expect this do to be easily trainable.

7 Ways To Keep Your Pet Safe All Year Round

April marks the beginning of Pet First Aid Awareness Month. To keep your pooch out of harm''s way, dog safety expert Melanie Monteiro offers up these tips.

Velveteen Lop

The Velveteen Lop is a newer rabbit breed that was actually named after the famous rabbit in The Velveteen Rabbit, a children''s story by Margery Williams.

KoolDog Indoor Dog House Perfect For Condo Living

Designed to blend into you home dcor, the KoolDog aint your backyard, DIY indoor dog house. A comfortable indoor dog house for your pet that''s stylish.

Squirrel Hides Nut In Dog’s Fur [Video]

Now here’s a place where none of the other squirrels would ever look for your winter store of nuts – in a dog’s fur! And that’s just…

Top 10 Super Fly Pet Products From Skymall

Have you heard the news that Skymall, the in-flight catalog that offered a vast array of wacky, never-been-seen items for purchase, is seeking bankruptcy…

FDA Sends Warning Letter To Purina, Citing Significant Violations At F

Nestle Purina starts 2015 off on the wrong foot – with a warning letter from the FDA What a way to start off the year! Nestle Purina PetCare recently l…

Healthy Hound Grain-Free Dog Treat Recipe

We love our dogs and we want the best of everything for them. This heart-felt sentiment is the inspiration behind the Healthy Hound Grain-Free Dog Treat Reci…

Just Called To Say Woof: PetChatz’s PawCall Lets Your Dog Call You

Don''t freak out! The call is coming from inside the house... and it''s your dog! The PawCall from PetChatz allows your dog to call you from home at anytime.

Family Dog Helps Man With Alzheimer’s Speak Again [Video]

Is there any doubt that dogs have the power to heal? If there was any, just watch this video and it will be erased. It highlights how one special dog has hel…

Golden Corgi

Corgis and Golden Retrievers are some of the most adored dog breeds on the planet, and their mixed offspring doesn’t disappoint, either.

Labernard

The Labernard is a hybrid of the easy-going Labrador retriever and the Saint Bernard. This dog is friendly, has an intelligent personality and is alert.