Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Bernedoodle

If you''re looking for a fluffy dog that will be a companion for life, look no further than the Bernedoodle. A hybrid of the Bernese Mountain Dog and Poodle.

Best Cat Enclosures

Have you ever thought about getting your cat an enclosure? If not, it might be worth considering. Check out the information below to learn a bit about the benefits of various types of enclosures for cats, and to access our list of product recommendations.

Pont-Audemer Spaniel

The Pont-Audemer Spaniel is an excellent hunting breed. This is a hardy and hard-working breed which makes him an excellent working dog.

Affenpinscher

Shaggy but neat, the Affenpinscher has an endearing facial expression on its flat face, as well as a prominent chin, bushy eyebrows, a mustache and a beard.

How To Groom A Dog

Here are the basics you''ll need to know on how to groom a dog. Feel free to print it out and keep it on the fridge for quick reference.

Rex Rabbit

The Rex rabbit has short, soft fur that points out instead of against their bodies, making this breed super plushy. It is a generally docile rabbit.

Gen Y Dogma: 3 Things We’d Do Differently The Second Time Around

Finding her puppy Matilda was fate, but if she had to do it all over again, there are a few things that Christian Peden would do a bit differently They say h…

I Can’t Afford My Dog’s Vet Bill! What Do I Do?

You''re thankful that your dog was able to recover from a life-threatening illness... but the vet bill is huge. How are you going to fix this problem?

Blue Picardy Spaniel

The Blue Picardy Spaniel has the long legs of a setter and the responsiveness of a spaniel, making it the ultimate hunting companion.

7 Ways a Shelter Dog Can Improve Your Life

If you want to experience the joys of owning a dog but aren''t sure that buying a puppy is the right choice for you, think about adopting a shelter dog.

Global Pet Expo: West Paw’s New Collar and Leash Line Helps Prevent

One of our new faves at Global Pet Expo 2018 is West Paw''s new collar and leash collection--perfect for less lunges on your daily walks.

Flat-Coated Retriever

A wonderful family companion, the Flat-Coated Retriever (known as Flatties) is cheerful, optimistic and good-humored - a true Retriever in every sense.

Cats Run Japanese IT Offices Like The Bosses They Are

If you thought it was cool to have ''dog-friendly'' offices, a small IT firm in Japan has one-upped that concept -- an office where nine cats live and roam.

Best Orthopedic Dog Beds

Take a look at our list of best orthopedic dog beds to find a fit and type that will keep your pooch pain-free and comfortable.

Quinoa Grain-Free Dog Treat Recipes

I love quinoa - it''s grain and gluten free and it''s high in protein. It really was a no-brainer to use it in my Quinoa Grain-Free Dog Treat Recipe.