Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

All Aboard! Law Allowing Dogs On Amtrak Trains Is On Track

Congressman Jeff Denham gaining traction with bill that allows small pets on Amtrak trains. I always feel guilty leaving my dog behind when I go on adventure…

Arthur the Adventure Racing Stray Now a Published Author

The fascinating story behind Arthur, a stray dog who latched onto a Swedish racing team as they were completing a dangerous journey... and never let go.

Gen Y Dogma: A Eulogy For All The Things My Dog Has Eaten

Oh, precious items… how I long for thee, and what a horrible end you came to. Christina Peden longingly remembers a few of the items that fell victim…

New Book Featuring Little Kids and Their Big Dogs Cutest Thing Ever

A Russian photographer has a new book that features fabulous photos of the cutest little kids and their most adorable, furry and large canine buddies!

Forbes Advisor Reveals Dog and Cat Breeds With Highest Medical Costs

The Forbes Advisor team sifted through three years worth of pet insurance claims data, and actually identified which breeds of dogs and cats had the highest vet bills – and it might not be what you expect.

Cats May Nose Ahead Of Dogs as the Better Sniffers

Dogs have long been using their noses in a working capacity. But experts now say that cats may be even better than dogs as search and rescue animals.

Ask The Hairy Dogfathers: Avoiding Holiday Hangover

The holidays are all about food, family and fun. But how do you stop an avid ""table scraper"" from feeding your dog after you''ve said ""No?""

Why Treats Are Beneficial to Your Dog’s Health and Well-Being

The right treat can motivate while supporting your dog''s health and well-being. Know what type of treat will help nourish and nurture your pooch.

Irish Troodle

The Irish Troodle brings together the playful Irish Terrier and the energetic Poodle for an affectionate pooch who gets along well with kids.

Shelter Dogs in a Photo Booth Guarantees Big Smiles

What happens when you put adoptable dogs in a photo booth? You get an adorable book of stunning photography that helps shelter pets.

Top 10 Best Guard Dogs

A dog is more than just a pet - a dog can be a companion, a friend and even a security measure for your home and family. Our picks for best guard dogs.

Baby Talk Will Get You More Attention From Your Cat, Vet Expert Claims

According to Dr. Uri Burstyn, a veterinarian from Vancouver, choosing a cat name that ends in a high-pitched sound is bound to make them respond to it.

Hockey Hounds Make a Power Play With PetSmart’s Maple Leafs Line

When the puck drops this season, what will your pup be wearing? Share your Leaf Nation pride with your dog with Petsmart''s exclusive Maple Leaf Line.

Mexican Parrotlet

With their cute little looks and a bunch of desirable traits, it''s no surprise the Mexican parrotlet is a very sought-after pet.

How To Stop Car Sickness In Dogs And Have Fun Traveling Again!

Pet Travel Expert Amy Burkert knows a thing or two about dogs that can''t stomach the open road. Here are some tips that''ll help car sickness in dogs.