Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Shetland Sheepdog

Thought to be quick learners, willing to please, and obedient, the Shetland Sheepdog can also be somewhat timid and sensitive. Is this dog a fit for you?

Could Music Ease Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety?

Music to soothe the anxious beast… for when your dog is home alone. Research has already shown that classical music is calming for dogs. Now, a Grammy…

Why Do Felines Love Cat Trees?

Perching isn''t just for the birds. Have you ever noticed how your kitty loves to climb up cat trees? Let''s look at why cats love an indoor tree with a view!

Is It Safe to Give Your Dog Vitamin C?

Vitamin C works the same way in dogs as it does in humans: it boosts the immune system, takes out viruses singlehandedly, and supports the adrenal glands.

Three Cheers For Chateau La Paws Wine!

Newly re-launched wine brand pairs dog lovers with a vintage that helps rescue shelters and dogs in need Whether you’re toasting to your pooch’s…

Walkzee Kickstarter Wants To Pair Dogless Walkers With A Shelter Pooch

Who wants to go for walkies with shelter dogs? If you raised your hand, then this Kickstarter project is for you! With urban sprawl running rampant (and with…

Helpful Tips for Giving Your Cat a Pill

When your kitty doesn''t want to take his meds, it can be a tough pill to swallow. Here are a few tips that will make it go down easier.

Adoptable Dog of the Week-Nutella

Sweet and gooey! Our Adoptable Dog of the Week is Nutella, a 5-year old chocolate brown Chihuahua mix from Phoenix, Arizona.

Sudsy Rain Is The First Soggy Doggy Pick For Our Wet Wednesday Weekly

It’s week one of our Wet Wednesday Weekly Winner Contest, and the top dog this week is Rain (very appropriate name for this contest) from Greenville, N…

How to Make a Cat Poop When Constipated

When your cat''s all bunged up, what do you do to unplug the blockage? Here''s how to make a cat poop when constipated.

Dave’s Pet Food Recalls Canned Beef Food Due To Elevated Thyroid Hor

Dave’s Pet Food is voluntarily recalling a single lot of their premium beef canned dog food because they are potentially tainted with elevated levels o…

Adoptable Dog Of The Week – Angela

This week’s adoptable dog from Adoptapet.com is Angela from San Diego, CA. Just look into those eyes and tell us that you don’t melt! This sweet…

Pearly Conure

Owing to their goofy nature, love for various tricks, and friendliness, Pearly Conure is a treasured pet around the world.

Affenpinscher

Shaggy but neat, the Affenpinscher has an endearing facial expression on its flat face, as well as a prominent chin, bushy eyebrows, a mustache and a beard.

Hilarious Sleeping Dogs Featured in ‘Resting Bitch Face’ Coffee Ta

Kickstart a hilarious coffee table book of sleeping dogs and their hilariously awkward faces -- you''ll laugh yourself to sleep!