Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Pomillon

The friendly little Pomillon blends the super social nature of the Papillon with the exuberance of the Pomeranian. A gentle, eager-to-please pooch.

Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Why Did She Shop, Instead of Adopt?

A shelter dog advocate is up in arms when a family member ""rescues"" a dog from a breeder. The Hairy Dogfathers have some ideas on keeping the peace.

Pipefish

Pipefish are a species of saltwater fish related to seahorses. However, the pipefish''s body, unlike the seahorse''s, is long, straight and snake-like.

Adoptable Dog of the Week – Dillard

Meet Dillard, our Adoptable Dog of the Week from Adoptapet.com. He is an adult Labrador Retriever mix from Norman, OK and is already neutered. Dillard’…

Burmese

The Burmese is a highly affectionate and charming cat that seems to convey an endearing quality of innocence. They bond deeply with their humans.

Portuguese Pointer

An asset to the bird hunter, the Portuguese Pointer is considered to be one of the ultimate gundogs. He is a loyal watchdog who is reliable with children.

Artois Hound

The Artois Hound is a rare scent hound breed has been around for several centuries and has a reputation for being a talented hare hunter.

Gen Y Dogma: Puppy Vs. Baby Edition

Is getting a puppy a logical first step toward having kids? Not necessarily. Christina Peden talks about the ways puppies and babies are similar and differen…

Jorkie

A mix of two terrier breeds from England, the Jorkie is a small dog with a big spirit. Find out more about the Yorkie and Jack Russell mix dog!

Labollie

The Labollie is a hybrid mix of the Labrador Retriever and the Collie. An ideal family pet learns quickly and loves to be included in all family activities.

English Angora Rabbit

The English Angora rabbit is docile and sociable, making them great family pets. They come in a wide range of colors and need to be groomed regularly.

Shire Horse

The Shire Horse is massive, with an appearance that would make it perfect for a medieval setting. They are popular because they aim to please.

Best Dog Calming Collars

Dog calming collars rely on the potency of pheromones, herbs, or essential oils to provide much-needed relief to anxious dogs.

Common Musk Turtle

The Common Musk Turtle is known as the Stinkpot Turtle because they can emit an offensive, foul odor. They make great pets when handled properly.

Former Marine Makes Puppy Pins To Support Disabled Veterans

A former marine who started a patriotic pin business has joined forces with a veterans organization to create dog pins that benefit a worthwhile charity.