Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Peacock Cichlids

Compared to other Lake Malawi cichlids, Peacock cichlids are relatively peaceful. They come in a wide variety of bright colors, often in iridescent shades.

New Guinea Singing Dog

Named for its unique form of vocalization, the New Guinea Singing Dog is able to vary the pitch of their howl in combination with various yips and whines.

Dachshund

You may know it as the ""Weiner Dog,"" but its actual breed name is Dachshund. There are 3 types of Dachshunds: long-haired, wired-haired and short-haired.

Steve’s Real Food Issues Voluntary Recall On Various Products

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has announced a recall of Steve’s Real Food batches of certain flavors of pet food because of concerns about salm…

Dusky Headed Conure

Dusky Headed conure is calm, affectionate, cuddly, and endlessly funny- all of these traits make them a very popular pet parrot.

Parrotfish

Parrotfish are a marine fish with over 90 distinct species. They are characterized by their parrot-like beaks that are made of tightly compressed teeth.

9 Scratch-Free Tips On How To Bathe A Cat

Even cats need a bath. How do you keep your arms intact while undertaking this perilous activity? Here''s how to bathe a cat and remain relatively unscathed.

Celebrity Lineup Announced For 2014 American Humane Association Hero D

The stars will be coming out for the 2014 American Hero Dog on September 27 at a red carpet event in Beverly Hills The fourth annual American Humane Associat…

The Benefits Of A Raw Food Diet For Cats

Are you thinking of going raw? Here are a few things you need to know before making the switch. When it comes to feline nutrition, there are a lot of debates…

Adoptable Dog of the Week – Hulk

Meet Hulk, our Adoptable Dog of the Week. This 2-year-old German Shepherd is waiting patiently in Montgomery, Alabama, for his forever home.

Blue Ridge Beef Recalls Frozen Turkey With Bone Dog Food

Blue Ridge Beef is voluntarily recalling one of its frozen products due to the potential to be contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes.

Licks Liquid Vitamins Will Get Your Dog’s Tongue Wagging

A delicious treat that’s good for your dog At the recent Global Pet Expo, we got to meet the fine folks from Licks, a new liquid vitamin product that&r…

Carrot And Banana Dog Treat Recipe

Are you having a hard time feeding your dog veggies and fruits? May I suggest putting them cookie form – because everything tastes better when it&rsquo…

Peke-A-Tese

The spunky little Peke-A-Tese brings the spirited nature of the Pekingese together with the fun personality of the Maltese.

Angelfish

Angelfish are one of the most popular species of freshwater fish in the aquarium hobby. They are characterized by their vertically compressed bodies.