Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Up The Creek: Adventures In Canine Canoeing Part 3

Thunder storms, and wolf poop, and bears, oh my! Kevin Roberts and crew encounter rain, dangerous animals and… poop. It’s all in the name of fun…

Dogs On The Inside: Inspiring Documentary About Rescue Dogs and Inmate

This touching movie follows a program that aims to save shelter dogs while giving inmates a new perspective on life. Life is not always easy for humans. In t…

Eastern Painted Turtle

The Eastern Painted Turtle is an attractive pet turtle breed that is ideal for beginners. They have a pleasant disposition, and are energetic and active.

Upside Down Dog Of The Week – Dot Dot Dash

We''re pleased to announce a brand-new feature - our Upsidedown Dog of the Week! We''ve teamed up with Upsidedowndogs.com to bring you a topsy-turvy pup.

Adoptable Dog of the Week- Magellan

Our Adoptable Dog of the Week is Magellan, a 3 year old Mastiff mix from Parkersburg, West Virginia. He is neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped.

Talking About Tartar Buildup On Dog’s Teeth

Ick! It’s gross, but you can’t hide from it – tartar buildup on your dog’s teeth can be a serious issue It’s not pretty but we&…

HABRI Grant Helps Study Impact of Shelter Cat Adoption by Kids With Au

HABRI awards a grant to the University of Missouri that will look at the effects of shelter cat adoptions in families that have children with autism.

5 Cat-ravagant Perks of an Outdoor Catio

You want your indoor cat to enjoy the benefits of the outdoors without the danger. The solution - an outdoor catio that protects your kitty!

SmartPetLove Brings An End To Puppy Boredom With New Toy Line

Superzoo is full of things I never knew I needed, but with a puppy (or any bored dog), SmartPetLove''s new Bounderz line may be my new best friend!

Orange Winged Amazon

One of the most common Amazon breeds, the friendly and intelligent Orange Winged Amazon has been a popular pet for well over a century.

Brown Headed Parrot

The Brown Headed Parrot has a friendly personality, quiet disposition and a playful behavior - all the traits of a favorable pet bird.

Snorkie

The Snorkie (Miniature Schnauzer and Yorkshire Terrier) is an intelligent little dog that thrives on human interaction and is a devoted family pet.

Top 10 Gifts For Dog Lovers

We''re not just about dogs here - we''re also about the people who love them. And that''s why I''ve dedicated a Top 10 Gifts for Dog Lovers list (hint, hint).

Ragdoll

Ragdolls are happy, docile cats that tend to go limp when picked up. The Ragdoll is of the most relaxed of all cat breeds and are extremely trusting.

American Kennel Club Adds 4 Dog Breeds To Its Ranks

Just in time for the New Year, the American Kennel Club gives official recognition to four dog breeds While some of them may be familiar to PetGuide readers,…