Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

The Winners Of Our Tongues Out Contest

These pictures got our tongues wagging during our Envvy Uglies contest Let’s start out by saying that you guys really outdid yourselves with the photos…

The Ultimate Pet-Friendly Road Trip Lets You Plan Epic Bucket List

A new book that details the top pet-friendly destinations in the U.S. has hit the shelves, giving pet owners the opportunity to plan The Ultimate Pet-Friendl…

Best Cargo Liner

These unique cargo liner designs will prevent dirt, stains, pet hair, and scratches from ruining your car, as they are designed to protect the cargo area, offer your pet comfort, and keep your car looking pristine.

Saarloos Wolfhound

The Saarloos Wolfhound is unique in that it exhibits more natural wolf-like behaviors, as it was developed from crossing a German Shepherd with a wolf.

Peruvian Inca Orchid

The Peruvian Inca Orchid, or Peruvian Hairless Dog, is one of the weirdest looking dog breeds in the world. It is also the country''s national dog.

Global Pet Expo 2017: Cuddle Clone Slippers Lets You Be A Copy Cat (Or

It''s annoying when your dog takes off with your slipper. What if that slipper looked just like him? Cuddle Clones Slippers gives you the chance to find out!

Best Spiked Dog Collars

Spiked dog collars are not just a cool-looking accessory: they could save your pet''s life if they are attacked by another dog or a wild animal.

Best Indestructible Dog Toys for Extreme Chewers

We''ve selected the best indestructible dog toys for extreme chewers- and prepared a guide on how to recognize if a toy is really as durable as advertised.

Stray Kitten Makes News By Crashing Live Report [Video]

This just in: an adorable kitten decides that the news is boring. Her solution: walk through a reporter''s live newscast and become the news.

For Homemade Dog Biscuits, Bo’s Hempaw Cookie Mix Will Give Dogs The

Dude, these cookies are so good! After one batch of these homemade dog biscuits, your dog will have the munchies for these munchies.

Best Retractable Leashes for Dogs of All Sizes

Take a look at our diverse list of retractable leashes for dogs of all sizes, with different features and styles- any pet pawrent can find what they need!

Reducing Dog Insurance Rates With Third Party Insurance

An option for pet owners, third party insurance may cover just what you need If you’re not keen on the idea of spending a huge annual or monthly sum on…

Product Review: Pawz Dog Boots

We woke up this morning, and it was -40. It looked like a great day to test the Pawz Dog Boots! They come 12 to a pack, and fit any dog from 1"" to 5"" feet.

Mandarinfish

Sometimes referred to as dragonets or mandarinfish, mandarins are small, brightly colored saltwater fish belonging to the Synchiropus genus.

Hanover Hound

Also known as the Hanoverian Hound, the Hanover Hound is a hunting and tracking breed descended from medieval bloodhounds.