Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Product Review: Tall Tails Cape Pocket Towel

Splish, splash! Oscar takes a bath and dries off with the Tall Tails Cape Pocket Towel It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s just Oscar after…

Up At The Cottage Cheese Chicken And Rice Dog Food Recipe

I love that spring is finally here. That means summer is right around the corner and it’ll soon be time to head up to the cottage for a little R&R. Chi…

Blue Throated Conure

While they''re a rare sight in captivity, the Blue Throated Conure has a wonderful personality and an affectionate nature, which makes them great pets.

Peggy’s Easy Beef Dog Food Recipe

I love when our readers reach out and offer us their own recipes to share with the community. Peggy sent me this one that she makes for her yellow Lab, Samps…

Adoptable Dog Of The Week – Beyonce

You’d better put a ring on it, because Beyonce, our Adoptable Dog of the Week, sure isn’t going to stay single for long! She’s a 2-year-old…

An Idea We Like A Latte: Indiegogo Campaign For NYC Dog Café

I can have coffee and puppy kisses in one place? Please, take all my money! When I think of dogs in the Big Apple, I envision dog walkers being dragged throu…

Adoptable Pet of the Week – Thelma

Meet Thelma, our Adoptable Dog of the Week. She''s a black Shepherd mix from Seattle, Washington with the ability to make anyone fall in love with her.

Californian Rabbit

Californian Rabbit Breed History/Origin The Californian Rabbit breed was developed in the 1923 by George West of California. His plan was to develop a breed…

Best Pet-Themed Gym Gear

We know it''s hard to get to the gym - you need a boost of motivation. Here''s our top 10 list of pet-themed gym gear, guaranteed to your butt moving!

Rottle

The playful Rottle combines the affectionate Rottweiler with the intelligent Poodle. An even-tempered dog that is affectionate with kids and loyal.

Michael Vick Spotted Taking Dog Training Classes

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback and infamous dog fighter Michael Vick was spotted at a PetSmart, attending dog training classes.

This $1.5 Million Dog Jacket is Made From Real Gold and Diamonds

The reason why Doggy Armour decided to produce such an extravagant dog jacket is to be able to donate more protective coats for anti-poaching pooches.

7 Ways To Keep Your Pet Safe All Year Round

April marks the beginning of Pet First Aid Awareness Month. To keep your pooch out of harm''s way, dog safety expert Melanie Monteiro offers up these tips.

Why Do Dogs Dig in Their Beds?

Is he looking for something or is he nesting? Learn the reason why your dog digs in his bed before he''ll climb in for a snooze.

5 Stress-Free Ways To Deal With Dog Separation Anxiety

Dog separation anxiety is a common condition in canines. It affects dogs of all ages and breeds and can cause serious distress and injury to your pooch.