Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Best Spiked Dog Collars

Spiked dog collars are not just a cool-looking accessory: they could save your pet''s life if they are attacked by another dog or a wild animal.

Bullmatian

The Bullmatian is a cross between a purebred Bulldog and Dalmatian. These dogs are friendly and charming, as well as affectionate and social.

Smålandsstövare

Also known as the Smaland Hound, the Smlandsstvare is a Swedish scenthound and hunting dog, and the smallest of the Swedish hounds.

Keep An Eye On Your Cat’s Feeding Habits With Cutting-Edge Bistro

The world’s smartest cat feeder proves there’s no such thing as TMI Worried that your kitty isn’t getting enough to eat during the day? Wis…

15 Dastardly Dog Costumes For a Spooktacular Halloween

If you''re looking to include your four-legged ghoul in this year''s Hallow''s Eve festivities, these dog costumes will definitely be a treat.

Coton Tzu

The Coton Tzu is a mix between Coton de Tulear and the Shih Tzu. Read on to find out more about their looks, temperament and care requirements.

‘Famous’ Instagram Dogs Don PJs to Support (RED)

Instagram has launched the careers of some famous dogs. Now, they''re snuggling together to fight against AIDS while modeling some snazzy pooch pajamas.

Adoptable Dog of the Week- Rocki

Our Adoptable Dog of the Week is Rocki, a 2 and a half years old mixed breed pooch from Shelburne, Vermont. She is spayed, vetted, and microchipped.

Peach Fronted Conure

Peach Fronted conure makes a wonderful pet parrot: these birds are friendly and flaunt great traits that will make them loved by the entire family.

Basque Shepherd Dog

If you are looking for a family-friendly breed that is unlike any other dog you''ve ever seen, consider the Basque Shepherd Dog.

Curly Horse

The Curly Horse is social, curious, and enjoys being around people. This horse breed has a hypoallergenic coat because of its soft and fine hair.

Chin-wa

What a cutie! The clever Chin-wa brings the sassy personality of the Chihuahua together with the friendly nature of the Japanese Chin.

Help Kickstarter Pet Backpack Get Off the Ground

Help fund the Lambo Pet Backpack''s Kickstarter campaign - a unique pet carrier that meets carry-on luggage dimensions for easier airline travel.

Best Pet Cameras

Pet cameras are a great way to be able to keep an eye on your pet when you''re not at home, but also a tool to help you make your cat or dog feel less alone.

Morkie

Tiny and adorable, the Morkie is an affectionate crossbreed who loves people and pets. He attaches to his family, which can be a problem when left alone.