Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Czechoslovakian Wolfdog

The Czechoslovakian Wolfdog was bred for he Czechoslovak Special Forces as an attack dog but has come to be used for search and rescue.

Cats on Laps Shelter Animals Bring Senior Citizens Special Love

An animal shelter in Bangor, Maine is using adoptable cats to bring lots of furry love to seniors who aren''t able to have pets of their own.

A Jet Setters Guide To Dog Travel Insurance

Whether you''re a jet setter or a road-trip warrior, if you''re bringing Fido along for the ride, you need to look into Dog Travel Insurance.

Gar

Characterized by their long bodies and similarly elongated jaws, gar are kept in large aquariums and require very specialized care by experienced aquarists.

Basenji

A small breed boasting a regal look, the Basenji is known as the barkless dog. It belongs in the hound group, but exhibits many terrier-like behaviors.

SmartPetLove Brings An End To Puppy Boredom With New Toy Line

Superzoo is full of things I never knew I needed, but with a puppy (or any bored dog), SmartPetLove''s new Bounderz line may be my new best friend!

Pugshire

As a designer dog breed, the Pugshire comes from two purebred parents- in his case, it''s the Yorkshire Terrier and the Pug.

SuperZoo 2017 is On – and We’re Digging P.L.A.Y. Adorbs Canvas Bag

One of the best things about Superzoo is seeing so many quirky little products. P.L.A.Y. has some of the cutest toys and bags that are ''totes'' adorbs!

Pawly Lets You Play With Your Pet Even When You’re Not Home [Video]

This robot pet sitter wants to help you be there for your pet, but your help is needed to make Pawly a reality. We all know the feeling. Leaving your pet at…

Azawakh

Boasting loyalty and independence, the Azawakh does well in a family household, as well as a therapy dog in nursing homes and rehabilitation centers.

Hap Cichlids

Hap cichlids exhibit a wide variety of colorations and patterns ranging from solid blue to multicolored combinations of red, orange, and purple.

Curly-Coated Retriever

The agile Curly-Coated Retriever (or Curly) is a multiple-purpose dog that is happy running in the fields, retrieving in the water or lounging on the couch.

Havapoo

The Havapoo is a mix of Havanese and Miniature or Toy Poodle dog breeds. Also known as the Poovanese or Havadoodle, this hybrid is hypoallergenic.

Your Dog’s Noise Anxieties Are Silenced With The ThunderShirt

Just Like A Warm Hug, The ThunderShirt Calms Your Dog’s Anxiety Late summer and early fall is known as a time of year when storms and unpredictable met…

J.J. Fuds Expands Recall Of Premium Natural Blends Pet Food

J.J. Fuds in Valparaiso, IN is expanding their recall to include all lots and products of J.J. Fuds Chicken Tender Chunks, Beef Tender Chunks and Duckling Te…