Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

Shelter Spotlight: Hull’s Haven Border Collie Rescue

This month, we travel to Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada to spotlight Hull''s Haven Border Collie Rescue. This non-profit rescue group takes in any dog in need.

Cat or Dog? Only His Groomer Knows For Sure.

Is he a dog or is he a cat? Only his groomer knows for sure... which is a good thing, because his groomer happens to be his mom.

Pets’ Bad Eating Habits Cost $4.2 Million at the Vet in 2015

Dogs and cats often eat things they''re not supposed to - and we pay for it. Trupanion''s report explains how foreign body ingestion in pets is on the rise.

LaPerm

Elegant and athletic, the active LaPerm is also an excellent lap cat with an affectionate, gregarious, and inquisitive nature. They make superb family pets.

This Collapsible Dog Crate From Kickstarter Is a Pawrent’s Dream Com

Easy on the eyes and easy to use, Revol dog crate aims to make ugly and unsafe wire crates a thing of the past. When you consider that pet products are conti…

DIY Framed Paw Print

If you''re looking to add some meaningful wall art to your home or surprise someone close with a thoughtful gift, try this quick and easy DIY project.

Three-Toed Box Turtle

The Three-Toed Box Turtle is a subspecies of the Common Box Turtle, and it is named ""three-toed"" because its back feet feature three toes.

Puggle

Lively and full of the spunk, the Puggle is a fun-loving little clown. He''ll run around and play like he was a puppy, even after he is well grownup!

5 Insider Secrets Only Foster Dog Parents Know

Shelters and rescues are in need of foster parents for homeless pets. There are some lessons that can only be learned by someone who''s already been there.

Seahorses

Seahorses are characterized by their equine appearance. Its upper body is shaped like the head of a horse and its lower body ends in an elongated tail.

Pom-Chi

The Pom-Chi is a sweet and affectionate little dog that bonds strong and fast with his family. He is loyal and has no concept that he is so tiny.

Arabian Mau

The Arabian Mau is one of the oldest of all of the natural feline breeds. These kitties are so friendly, they will get along great with just about anyone.

The Benefits of Diatomaceous Earth for Dogs

A natural alternative for fleas, ticks and other pests and parasites, diatomaceous earth for dogs is a safe and chemical-free treatment for your pooch.

Blue Crowned Conure

With its fun and silly behavior,ability to learn new tricks, and a big appetite for cuddling, Blue Crowned Conure is nothing short of a perfect pet.

Moorish Idol

The Moorish idol is closely related to surgeonfish. These fish are characterized by their vertically compressed, disk-like bodies and bold colorations.