Ask the Hairy Dogfathers: Poetic Poop

Published A Few Days Ago
ADVERTISEMENT

What’s a bard to do when her kids won’t pick up the dog’s poo? The Hairy Dogfathers put feather-quilled pen to paper in order to offer some refined advice.

Hello Hairy Dogfathers,

I have taken a minute to pen my problem in pose. I hope you get some enjoyment out of my predicament… but seriously, I need some advice!

My Problem in a Poem

Kids A, B and C

Told their Mom (that’s me!)

If they were allowed a pet,

That I could bet,

The poo would be gone.

I was guaranteed a clean lawn!

But spring has riz,

And I know where the dog poo is…

I am beyond angry,

They have lied to me!

What do I do with this hound?

I would hate to return him to the pound!

-Signed, I’m Pooped!

Related:5 Reasons Why You Should Always Pick Up Dog Poop

Our first poetic predicament! Thanks for being so creative with your question. Sounds like your kids have been naughty and have pulled a fast one by you… or should maybe I should say a slow one because seems they might have been fooling you for the whole winter season. You could put your creativity to work to think of a suitable punishment… or you could just go with the obvious. Think about it: a dog owner’s spring cleanup can be tedious task, thankfully you have three helpers… or should I say doers! That’s right – get the three little shits to clean up their own mess! On top of that you might consider making yard cleanup part of their daily or weekly routine, each of them being responsible for cleanup on a certain day of the week. That way your yard stay clean and the hound can stay out of the pound.

Related:Is Poop Getting In The Way Of Picking Up?

A poem – oh, that’s awesome! Such a creative person can no doubt dream up a punishment that will fit the crime for children who do not hold up their end of a bargain! Goodbye iPads? Allowance goes to cover the cost of a professional pooper scooper? Grounded until the grass is green? I might sound like a glutton for punishment, but I am taking the dog’s side here!

I understand you are frustrated, but keep in mind this isn’t the dogs fault! Put the blame squarely on the kids. You can see this as a learning opportunity for them; they can see it as punishment. But the bottom line: the dog needs a clean yard. You are the adult, so what you say goes.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

You May Like

West Highland Doxie

The adorable West Highland Doxie has two purebred parents; the Dachshund and the West Highland White Terrier. Read on to find out about this designer dog!

Shar-Poo

The fun-loving Shar-Poo brings together the smarts of the Poodle with the devoted nature of the Chinese Shar-Pei for a great family dog.

Adoptable Dog of the Week – Bluebelle

Blooming beauty Bluebelle is our Adoptable Dog of the Week. Hailing from Decatur, Illinois, Bluebelle is an adult English Bulldog with swagger to spare.

5 Reasons to Consider Canoeing With Your Canine

An exceptional physical workout for you and a mental workout for your dog, taking your dog out on a canoe ride is beneficial for plenty of reasons.

Pack a Pooch in the Awesome Dogpack

Take the path less traveled, with your dog comfortably strapped to your back. Back the Dogpack Kickstarter campaign to be the first to own one!

Missouri Fox Trotter

The Missouri Fox Trotter is known for its calm and gentle nature. This horse breed is docile and reliable, and it thoroughly enjoys being around people.

Basschshund

The Basschshund is known for its playful nature, which makes for an entertaining dog who will always try to bring a smile to your face.

Pawsome Cat Products You Can Buy on Etsy

We love shopping on Etsy! It''s the best place to buy handmade, one-of-a-kind gifts for your kitty.

Gen Y Dogma: 5 Reasons My Dog Is A Dick!

As cute as they are, puppies also have a dark side – and Christina has discovered that the force runs strong in her puppy, Matilda Okay, so you might b…

Lhatese

The Lhatese is a cross between a purebred Lhasa Apso and Maltese. These dogs are friendly and gentle, so they will get along with everyone they meet.

American Kennel Club Adds 4 Dog Breeds To Its Ranks

Just in time for the New Year, the American Kennel Club gives official recognition to four dog breeds While some of them may be familiar to PetGuide readers,…

LaPerm

Elegant and athletic, the active LaPerm is also an excellent lap cat with an affectionate, gregarious, and inquisitive nature. They make superb family pets.

What is an Ovary-Sparing Spay?

If you want to prevent unwanted litters but don''t want to put your female dog at risk for health problems, consider a partial spay or an ovary-sparing spay.

Hogfish

Hogfish are a reef-dwelling species of wrasse popular in the modern aquarium trade. They possess a long, pig-like snout they use to search for food.

Grande Bleu De Gascogne

The Grande Bleu de Gascogne is a strong and dependable hunting breed. This breed is a pack hound that generally responds well to training.