So ugly, they’re cute! Ummmm, can we have all three, pretty please?

Meet Fabio, Isabella and Leo.

The Uglies (from Envvy) are not your average chew toys, and should any of them pull a Pinocchio on us, they wouldn’t be your average pet, either! (And they wouldn’t have it any other way.)

They will likely be the most memorable toys your dog will ever nom on. The only problem is they’re so disgustingly cute that you’ll want to keep them for yourself!

So without further ado, let us introduce you to the three lovely Uglies and their peculiar personalities:

Fabio

Fabio is the star of The Uglies line “because he sees himself as a hot-shot dog with a burst of overconfidence.” Hmmm, that’s quite the opinion you have of yourself there, sir!

Fabio is cute grey pooch with crazy hair and an even crazier tongue (which makes a crinkling noise that’ll drive your pooch batty, in a good way.) Fabio is a fabulous grey Shih Tzu/Bull Terrier mix — what a combination!

Psst! He’s also madly in love with Isabella, who you’ll meet below. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to want to give him the time of day…

Isabella

… Or perhaps we should call her “Queen Isabella”? Inspired by a Sphinx cat, (a.k.a. the breed worshipped by the Egyptians as near-deities) she certainly seems to think she’s royalty!

Can you blame her? This high maintenance beauty is pretty in pink, has whiskers almost as long as her ridiculously droopy tongue and is 100% hairless. Think Mr. Bigglesworth meets Sex and the City and you’ve pretty much got Isalbella’s number.

And unfortunately for Fabio, she seems to be way more into Leo…

Leo

Meet Leo, an adorable black pug. He’s the “nice guy” to Fabio’s overinflated jerkitude — quiet and lacking in confidence, but a great playmate.

Like the other Uglies, Leo has a long, pink crinkly tongue that your pooch will love to chew on. He’s also rocking some pretty crazy hair! Is that a mohawk, or just a really intense unibrow?

Despite their differences, Leo and Fabio are actually best friends, though Leo doesn’t know about Isabella’s affection for him. Do we smell a love triangle brewing? Uh oh…

All of The Uglies come in three different sizes, depending on how big your dog is, so there’s something for every pup. Prices range from $9.99 to $14.99, and can be found in your local pet store. They also have squeakers inside, which means maximum enjoyment for your dog and maximum thoughts of “Would you shut up with that thing already?!” for you.

(Just kidding. We secretly want the whole family of Uglies… and not even necessarily for our four-legged friends. Shhh! Don’t tell.)